Telling others you’re homeschooling may leave you concerned about possible negative feedback. You may wonder how to tell others you’re homeschooling.
Congratulations on making the decision to homeschool! Homeschooling has many benefits, and it is a decision that you will not regret. When it comes to how to homeschool, one thing you may be nervous about is how to tell others you’re homeschooling. Telling friends and family may leave you concerned about possible negative feedback. Sharing the news with others also cements your decision; it makes it more real, and the thought of that may be scary.
Telling others you’re homeschooling will get easier as time goes on. When you are first starting out, a few things can make sharing the news a little easier.
Don’t tell others you’re homeschooling in a crowd.
I made this mistake, and it backfired. We pulled my oldest daughter out of public school preschool over Christmas break. When asked at a Christmas dinner when she went back to school, I bluntly said, “She’s not, we’re homeschooling”. You would’ve thought the roof caved in. I immediately felt a backlash from the dozens of family members in the room. I left in tears, second-guessing my decision.
Share the news one on one with your immediate family.
This way you can listen to their concerns, and take them into consideration. This will also give you time to share the reasons why you believe this is right for your family. I recommend telling them how you came to the decision. Share the fact that you prayed about it, and felt the Lord leading you down this path. Share the fact that you researched it, and have learned that there are many long-term and short-term benefits to homeschooling. Share books and resources that you have read with your family. This will show them that you did not make a rash decision. Are grandparents against homeschooling? I recommend inviting grandparents to join you on a homeschool field trip. Seeing that you are not the only one who has “fallen off the deep end” can help!
When sharing the news with your friends, be gentle.
Often times I have found that friendships change once you begin homeschooling. They may feel that since you are making this decision for your children, that you think they should too. Share with your friends why this is right for your children and that you still want to get your children together and be friends. If you are nervous share this post about how homeschool moms and public school moms CAN be friends.
Do remember that these are YOUR children.
No one else can make the decision about school for your family. Once you have made the decision to homeschool stand strong in it, tell others that you’re homeschooling with confidence, and don’t back down. If God called you to homeschool, He will equip you for this journey. Believe me!
I have found the hardest ones to tell were our parents, then our friends. After that, I really didn’t care about others opinions. Telling others gets easier over time, and I have found that many of those who were once negative about our homeschooling have asked questions, and complimented us through the years.
I would also like to add that if you have friends and family who were supportive of you homeschooling from the beginning be grateful and take the time to thank them for their support and encouragement.
How did you tell others you’re homeschooling? Was sharing the news hard or easy?
Want more information about getting started homeschooling? Check out my book Homeschool 101!
Yay!!! That’s awesome!!
Thanks! It went much better than expected. The registrar quietly told me that her husband homeschools their children! It turns out I was worried for no reason. Thank you for the support 🙂
Great tips! You’re right friendships do change. Most of my friends are public school teachers and I always wonder what they really think of me and our decision!
Hi Lauren! I don’t think you NEED to explain anything to the public school. I would just make sure you are following the rules of your state as far as informing them and following the necessary protocals. You can find that information out at HSLDA.org. Other than that, just tell them exactly what you said. That it is what is best for YOUR family. 🙂
I know this is an old post, but I’m hoping to get some feedback. I loved this article for telling others about homeschooling. I was wondering if anyone had some tips for informing the public school. I am going to be withdrawing my children in December. I know there will be questions as to why we are doing this. Other than saying this is the right choice for our family, I’m at a loss for the best way to explain our decision to the school. Thanks!
Michelle Caskey says
You’re right – you need to be wise about when to break the news to people. Be sure your husband is around when you tell the in-laws… in case they are vocal about not agreeing with your decision. And yes, one-on-one is always better than in a group.
We’re getting ready to start our 14th year of homeschooling so we don’t have to deal with this anymore. And most of our family members have come around. But they weren’t so sure in the beginning. Of course, the discussion has now turned to how we’re handling high school and college and beyond. So the questions never really go away – they just change. 😉
From a young age my son appeared gifted Xso those who knew him well would tell me to homeschool him. They knew his individualized needs would be best met at home. With everyone else I focused on that reason, homeschooling best fits my son’s needs. And it went well every time as long as I accepting their well intended advice about how best to homeschool him, typically given from people who had never homeschooled.
That’s awesome!! I wish ours would have went that well….
Theres Just One Mommy says
Actually, my daughter told my mom we were homeschooling, and it went over fine. My MIL…I dreaded telling her. I was just going to wait until school started and let them figure it out when they saw us outside (they live next door). But, once again, my daughter dropped the news. And it actually went better than expected. Although I think both my inlaws aren’t thrilled with the idea, they have wisely kept their mouths shut.
I’m so glad this encouraged you! Good luck, I promise telling people gets easier the longer you’ve done it!
Thanks for the advice! I’m homeschooling for the second year, my oldest is in 1st grade. There have been many conversations where people have commented or asked questions and I’ve thought later “Oh! This ___________ is what I should have said!” But the moment had passed. So at least I’m better prepared for the next time someone says the same thing. I agree, parents and friends are the hardest to tell, also my sisters. Everyone thinks I’m weird and crazy, but I know I’m doing what the Lord needs me to do and that’s all that matters.
Yes! Finding other homeschool moms is so important. I actually wrote a post about that:
And, I understand the inlaw thing. Mine still think I’m nuts sometimes 😉
Good luck! And thanks for stopping by!
Yes, I agree! Taking my mom with us on some trips honestly changed her mind about homeschooling. She saw that we were actually “socialized” 😉
Thanks for this. We are planning to homeschool, my oldest is turning 5 so we are starting to get the questions about school. My parents homeschooled us for a few years and are very supportive. The in-laws on the other hand….I think their starting to believe I’m wrecking their son with all my “hippy ways” lol. Their really wonderful people though and we want to break it to them as gently as possible.
I’ve been also struggling with meeting new people in the area we just moved too, cause everyone asks about school and if I tell them our plans they kinda get this look and slowly back away it seems lol. Figured I just need to find some fellow homeschooling mom’s to befriend. 🙂
Anyway good advice. Thanks
Traci Matt says
Great advice! We loved taking grandparents on field trips. It helped them understand what we were up to, and created a lot of precious memories.
Jennifer | The Deliberate Mom says
Wonderful advice! I found our family to be very supportive but friends, not so much. I have a few friendships fizzle out once we started homeschooling. I’ve tried to reach out but people are going to think what they want to think. I totally don’t judge others who send their kids to school. Our decision WAS made for our children as individuals.
Thanks so much for sharing (and for linking up to the #SHINEbloghop).
Wishing you a lovely day.
Yes! I truly believe the “fruit is in the pudding” and those doubters (most of them) will come along in time. Good luck on your journey 🙂
Yes, that is a huge deal! I don’t think homeschooling can work without both spouses on board. Good luck as you start your new journey!
Mia - Southern Crown & Co. says
Great advice! Thank you so much for sharing!
Rhiannan Hammond says
Great tips. This is our second year homeschooling, and many of our friends and family have already come around on the issue. As for the other’s that just don’t get it, I’ve learned to let go! Hubby and I are ultimately responsible before God for how we raise our kids, and this is what is best for our family!
Great tips. I’m just beginning the homeschooling journey. You are right that saying it out loud makes it more real and a bit scary. But hubby and I are on the same page about this, and that’s what matters.
Congratulations! I promise you won’t regret it. Glad the post helped you 🙂 Praying you feel confident when you do start breaking the news.
I needed this! We are homeschooling next year beginning with kindergarten and people are making comments about him starting school. I bite my tongue not knowing and being afraid to tell them we are homeschooling!