I don’t want angry mom days. I don’t want my children to remember that mommy blows up. I want them to remember a joyful mommy who can control her emotions. How can we fix being an angry mother?
I have a mommy confession to make sometimes I’m an angry mom. There, I said it. I have written before of my unglued journey and while I will admit I have made a lot of progress, I still fail. A lot more than what you may believe.
A few weeks ago, I had an unglued relapse. The night before I had gone to bed feeling like poo. I woke up feeling even worse. However, moms don’t get sick days (that should change right?) and I had to get up and work and get our day going. As the day went on, I felt myself getting more and more grumpy, and more sicker. I continued with school, chores, etc just like any other day but I knew I was going to blow. I could feel it coming on. Sure enough, after lunch, it happened. Mommy blew up. Afterward, I felt awful. I had been doing so well, and I felt like a failure.
So, why did I become an angry mom? I believe it was for a number of reasons, all areas I struggle with, and you may too.
Skipping Prayer and Devotions
That morning I didn’t “feel” like doing my devotions. Instead, I opted for 10 extra minutes on Facebook. Big mistake! I always feel a difference when I opt out of my morning devotion. That time with the Lord makes me ready for my day. Even if it is just 5 minutes of reading a devotion in my email-it helps! Moms believe me when I stress that you should never opt out of this time. Also, the minute I felt myself tensing up I should have excused myself to my prayer closet. That would have kept me in check of my emotions and would have kept me from coming unglued.
Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.
Doing Too Much
I was sick, so why did I insist on school, chores, and everything else on my daily “to do” list? Because I am crazy, that’s why. Moms when you are sick or have a to-do list a mile long you are bound to blow up on someone. Chances are it is going to be your kids. Save them and yourself by saying no to over commitments, long to-do lists, and just doing too much. It is okay to say no sometimes, and when you are sick, it is okay to have a pajama and movie day. No one will judge you for that!
Sleep is something our bodies need. Without it, we are walking on eggshells. I was so tired that day, and in hindsight, I should have slept longer or told myself I could nap when the little ones did. As moms, we need to make sure we are well rested and tell ourselves it is okay to take a nap when we are sick or hit the snooze button if we had a late night.
Help for the Angry Mother
When I blow up, I always tend to feel like a failure afterward. I cry. I beat myself up. Why? Because that is not the mom I want to be. I want to act in a way that is pleasing to the Lord, my husband, and my children. So, what did I do? I apologized, and I asked them to pray with me. I let them see me ask the Lord for forgiveness, and let them hear me ask for more patience, and for guidance.
Moms, we will make mistakes. We all have our weak moments. Mine may be becoming unglued, yours may be something else. What is important is how we handle those mistakes. We must ask our children for forgiveness, we must ask the Lord for forgiveness, and we must realize what we did to set off our bad behavior.
I don’t want crazy mommy days. I don’t want my children to remember mommy blowing up in anger. I want them to remember a joyful mommy who can control her emotions. I can sit and dwell on the days that I mess up, or I can choose to find a way to take those moments and learn from them. For me, that moment was a time of imperfect progress. A time to remember how far I had come, and that I still have work to do.