It was one of those weeks. Between holiday preparations, homeschool activities, church play practice and life I had rarely been home. This meant the house was a mess, I had slacked on dinner, and laundry was sky high. My husband and I had hardly seen each other, let alone had the chance to “catch up”. This meant that we were both on edge. Easy to aggravate, and neither in a good mood. I knew if we weren’t careful this season of busyness could turn into a thorn in our marriage. Fights, disagreements, and angry words get hurled during these times, and after 12 years I have learned that sometimes I need to stop the busyness, and nurture my marriage.
Seasons of busyness happen. They can’t be helped. I plan on keeping one day free each week on our calendar. I plan for crock-pot meals, and limit activities so were not busy. But, sometimes all those intentions don’t pan out and we are just busy.
When this season happens it is important to not leave our spouses behind. If your spouse is like mine, he may get frustrated with busy. He may not like having to wash his own clothes, or fend for himself with dinner. And yes we can choose to argue, or justify our busyness. But we can also choose to stop and nurture the relationship with the one we love.
Put the to do list aside for a half an hour and just chat with your spouse. If this isn’t feasible then get up when he does and make him breakfast, even if it is a bowl of cereal. These little extra things can mean a lot when we have been busy and give us a chance to reconnect. Once the season is past, pick up a movie, put the kids to bed early, and catch up. Making time for your spouse is necessary no matter what season you are in.
This particular week I really did not have the option to back out of the activities that were going on. But, I knew that the week had exhausted me, so the following week I said no to a few things I wanted to do. I didn’t want a repeat of busyness and exhaustion. I didn’t want to burden my kids or husband anymore with a jam packed schedule. So, I just said no. If you find yourself in a similar situation look at your schedule and see if anything can be pared down.
Show Your Appreciation
Is your spouse helping more with the chores, the kids, and the household stuff? Show your appreciation by thanking him. I used to find it an annoyance when my hubby would pick up the broom, or load the dishwasher. I felt like it was a slap in the face that I wasn’t doing “my” job good enough. Then…I had a chat with Darlene from Time Warp Wife at Allume. She told me frankly to straighten up, and appreciate what he does and to consider that maybe he saw how much I worked and really, wanted to just help. I realized the problem wasn’t him. It was me. So, if you are in a season of busyness and your spouse is helping. Be grateful. Don’t criticize the way they load the dishwasher (my way IS better though….;) ) or that they didn’t fold the towels quite right. Appreciate him, pick up his favorite ice cream, or pizza and show him that you have noticed.
Seasons of busyness come and go, but your spouse will always be there. Taking the time to nurture that relationship is crucial, and if left untended can turn into an argument that neither of you want.
How do you connect with your spouse when you’re busy?