I shared with you last week about the ache. The ache I felt when I longed for another child, and the ache I have learned to deal with over the past few months. If you are a mom, I think it would be safe to say that at some point you have had the ache. Maybe yours went away after child 1, 2 or 3. But, for some of us the ache for more babies doesn’t go away. We have to learn to deal with it, and it can be hard. Very hard. I would love to say that I magically woke up one day and agreed with my husband’s decision, but I haven’t. I am working hard to be content, and to come to peace with it. I know the ache will be there, but I cannot let that ache run my life. Here is how I am working through it.
I’m Choosing to Thank God for What we Do Have
I have three healthy kids. We have food on our table and a roof over our head. I have a husband who works hard to provide for our family. We have what has become, our dream home, that fits our family of five well.
When I take the time to thank God for what He has provided us with, it is harder to focus on what I don’t have. My life is blessed, and we are happy. God is good.
Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. ~Phillipians 4:11
Embracing Where Our Family Is Now
We are out of the diaper phase! Between my middle and my youngest, we always had a daycare baby or toddler. After 10 years of having a baby we can now go places without a diaper bag or stroller. This opens up amusement parks, go-cart tracks, and much more to the whole family. We have always wanted to try tubing in Tennessee. Next time we are there, we can do that!
When I take the time to focus on where our family is now, and all the things this new stage of parenting has to offer I can try to find peace and contentment in this season of our lives.
To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.
Respect My Spouse
My husband works hard to provide for us. He has stresses I don’t know about, and as the head of our home, ultimately the decision to expand our family is his. He is content with our family. And whether or not I am, I need to respect his decision as the God given leader of our home. This is where submission kicks in. Is this easy? No. However, it is a decision I must respect. It is not my job to change his mind. It is my job to love and respect him.
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. ~Ephesians 5:22-23
Moms if you are dealing with the ache for more babies, I urge you to pray about what you are going through. Your feelings are normal, but if left unchecked can eat at your joy, your peace, your contentment, and ultimately your marriage. I encourage you to talk to a friend who understands what it is like. A friend who will not give you bad counsel, but one that will listen to you, support you, and pray with you.
If you have been dealing with the ache, I hope that these posts have encouraged you, and I pray that you can find contentment and peace to help deal with the ache. If you have dealt with the ache, and worked through it, please share your story in the comments. You may encourage another mom dealing with the same thing.
Don’t miss part 1!