Earlier this week it was shared that John Luke Robertson is engaged. Now, I don’t watch Duck Dynasty (no cable), but I have heard of him. I was surprised to see backlash over him marrying so young. The backlash is similar to that I have seen and read about the Duggar girls, who are also marrying young.
I was only 20 when I got married, my hubby was 22. I thought we were young, but after sharing a question on my Facebook page found that I had quite a few followers who were married when they were younger then we were. And guess what? Out of all those responses, as far as I know, all were still married! This is surprising considering the divorce rate in our country stands at 50%.
I have been married for over 12 years now, and wouldn’t change a thing. When we decided to get married I heard things like, “You should finish school first”, “Live together for a few years to make sure it will work out”, “What’s the rush? You’re still young”. I got very little encouragement. However, none of those comments changed the fact that we wanted to get married. Was it easy? No, but there are truths that I learned about marrying young, and all of them I believe play a role in why marrying young is NOT a bad thing.
Money Will Be Tight
I assumed since my hubby and I both had our own apartments before getting married, combining two incomes would be a breeze, and there would be tons of money left over. I was wrong. Very wrong. You see, I talked him into renting us a house. In a real neighborhood. With utilities. Very different from the rent controlled apartments we came from where all utilities were paid. We learned very early on that we could NOT afford that house. This realization became clear when we were eating canned biscuits for dinner one night a few months after we were married. We had no other food in the house, and payday was the next morning.
You know what this taught us though? To budget. To lean on each other. To trust God to provide, and to talk about finances. Now, we laugh about that experience. We have told our kids about it, and have driven them by our first home. When you marry young, you really have no clue how to budget, merge money, or what you are getting into. However, you learn, slowly.
You Are Dependent on Someone Else
The biggest reason I am glad I married young, is that I never really became independent. From the time I got married, I became dependent on my husband. He helped me pay the bills, took out the garbage, changed my oil, and fixed our home. I never had to learn how to do any of these things. The same goes for him. I cook, clean, manage our home, balance the checkbook, and ensure that we have food in the house (including canned biscuits). We have become a well-oiled machine of dependency. I depend on him, he depends on me. We work as a team. That is really how marriage is supposed to be. Not separate bank accounts, or two people living separate lives under the same roof. I joke with him all the time, that if I could do everything on my own, I wouldn’t have a reason to be married. I rely on him. However, in today’s society that is rare.
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.~Genesis 2:24 –
You Will Have to Grow Up!
Bills, babies, homes, cars, and groceries all become a way of life. Gone are the days where you can get up and go do what you want to do. Responsibilities happen, and when you marry young, they come a lot faster than others do. I read somewhere that marrying young forces you to grow up together. I believe that! How many of you know an adult still living at home? On their parents couch? Yep, me too! Marrying young, that rarely happens because you are forced to grow up. This is not necessarily a bad thing.
Had I known these truths when I got married, I still would have done it. I wouldn’t trade one day with my husband. Was marrying young easy? No, but too often, people try to shelter their kids from these struggles. They don’t want them to face hard times. So, they encourage their children to wait until they are older to marry. However, these things make marriages stronger. They force you to grow up, and to be dependent on someone else. They force you to appreciate the better times, because you made it through the lean times together. Yes, they can also make marriage tougher, but when you stick it out, your marriage will be so much sweeter.
How old were you when you got married and how many years has it been now?