We had only been married a few months when I realized something awful about my husband. He had flaws. He chewed loudly, left his shoes in places where I tripped over them, and had funny quirks (like right and left foot socks….). These imperfections were okay at first, but the longer we were married the more annoying they became.
So, I started keeping notes, and pointing them out. I mean after all he could change those things right? I mean he loved ME he could change for ME. However, the more and more I nitpicked the worse our relationship got.
Then one day he looked at me and said,
“You know what, I love you in spite of your imperfections. Can’t you do the same for me?”
I responded with “What flaws? What do I do that annoys you?”.
“I could name them, but I won’t. Because I love you, unconditionally.” He replied back, and walked away.
It was at that moment that I realized I was in an imperfect marriage. Neither of us was perfect, and even though he didn’t vocalize my imperfections, I had them. And as he said, he loved me, in spite of them. Couldn’t I do the same for him?
A marriage is the joining together of two people, it is a relationship built on love and respect. Yet too often we have high expectations of marriage that leave us feeling discontented. We expect perfection, we expect a fairy tale, yet are left with real life. So, how can find joy in an imperfect marriage?
Marriage is not easy, it is work. You have to choose to stay married to that person for the rest of your life. You have to choose to be happy, and to fight for your relationship and not against it.
Change Your Response
Instead of pointing out the flaws, embrace them. It may drive me crazy that he leaves his shoes in places where I can trip over them, but after an unexpected accident last year, I am even more grateful that they are there for me to trip over. I can change my response to his flaws and imperfections, and embrace them instead. Why? Because I love him, and life with him is so much better than the alternative.
Admit Your Imperfections
Ladies, we all have imperfections. Every single one of us. Yet, our husbands choose to love us anyway. Can’t we do the same for them? Marriage is a commitment to love each other, for better or worse. And too many times my husband gets the worst of me! And, I see the worst of him. We are two imperfect people, who God has joined together.
Finding joy in your husband’s imperfections might not sound romantic, but think about it. You and your spouse have made this commitment, to work together, learn together and grow together, day after day. You are a team. You are making a choice to love each other in spite of your imperfections. You are choosing to find joy in an imperfect marriage. That sounds like true love to me 🙂 .
What is one way you have found joy in an imperfect marriage?