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I imagined a fall wedding. Leaves changing colors, and a nice cool breeze. It would be outside on the hill near the church I attended as a teen. The reception would be beautiful, colors purple and white, or navy and silver. I hadn’t pinpointed that yet. I’d have 5 bridesmaids and at least 150 guests. Years later I would watch our wedding video with our children and grandchildren.
It would be perfect! But, I forgot about the marriage…
Fast forward a few years and the reality was a chapel in Tennessee. Guest list? About 20, only 12 came. Colors were purple and white, bridesmaids were one. My sister. Due to a misunderstanding with the chapel company we didn’t even have a video. Oh, to add insult to injury we drove away in my car that hubby wrecked on our way to Tennessee.
Not quite so perfect huh?
Over the years I have attended numerous weddings that WERE picture perfect. They were what I dreamed of, and what I hope my girls someday have. But the marriages? They don’t always last.
You see one thing that I believe we forget when we are dreaming of our perfect day is it’s not about the wedding. It’s about the marriage.
A picture perfect wedding won’t buy you a happy ever after. A picture perfect wedding doesn’t mean a strong marriage. A picture perfect wedding doesn’t mean there won’t be trials and hard times.
It’s not about the wedding. It’s about the marriage.
The reality of our marriage is that I have someone who has been by me through thick and thin. Through sickness and in health. Through good times and bad. Through the waves of life, he has been there. The wedding didn’t give us that. The marriage did.
Did we invest in a big fancy wedding? No. But, we have invested in our marriage. And you can too!
Time with each other. Late night movies. Ice cream in bed. At home date nights. Phone calls in the middle of the day for no reason. These are all simple ways couples can invest in each other by giving of their time. This is an investment in any marriage. The hardest thing about this for me has been the fact that I give all day. As homeschool moms, our days are spent giving to our kids. We have little energy left at the end of the day and oftentimes, we don’t want to give anymore. But, we need to. Our marriages depend on it.
A strong marriage is centered on Christ, HE is our foundation. When there are times you don’t know if you can make it through, turn to Christ. Pray together every night as a couple. Pray for your marriage, your family, and your home. Do this together. What priorities do you have for your family? What are your dreams? Make a list. Pray about it. Talk about it. And make Christ the foundation of your home.
Invest YOURSELF. This means to make the commitment and the promise that you are all in. When you get married it is no longer about YOU. You have a partner. Remember that. Who was the girl your husband married? Is she still in there? Chances are your hubby would like to see her again. Chances are you want to be her again sometimes. Remember your identity is NOT homeschool mom. You are a wife first. Invest in your marriage and everything else will fall into place.
So, do I still wish I had a picture perfect wedding? No. I know it’s not about the wedding, it’s about the marriage. Do I hope my girls one day have the wedding of their dreams? Of course, but now while dreaming of their wedding some day, I am also encouraging them to remember the truth about marriage. The truth I wish someone would have shared with me, but I can share this truth with my daughters, and you can too.
It’s not about the wedding, it’s about the marriage.
One resource I have found that has been a huge help in our marriage is The Busy Homeschool Mom’s Guide to Romance. I encourage you to check it out!